Deepbaazigar v/s Stocksbaazigar
After 11th of September 2018, I am writing any post on the 'World of Deepbaazigar' blog. Today, I am feeling really sad that I listened to people and killed my alter-ego 'Deepbaazigar' for so many years. Only Deepak Doddamani knew how 'Deepbaazigar' heals him and makes him a stronger person. I shouldn't have listened to those Slaves who work for others as Salaried employees and preach entrepreneurs about how to carry themselves in public. As an Entrepreneur, it was completely OK for me to be a little nerd. Naukars who do Naukri of others are always chained by their public persona. They can behave the way Society wants them to, but I am a free bird and I should have respected my raw and natural way of leading. Entrepreneurs shouldn't behave like Managers. Managers are the losers who can't think anything if they don't have any resources in hand or any power on subordinates. Entrepreneurs are always powerful. They have this inherent power to start everything from Zero again and again and create their own Organizations. As an Entrepreneur, it was completely OK to be weird, to be sensitive and little vulnerable.
I have become Stocksbaazigar now but in that process, I lost the human side which Deepbaazigar had. I am really sorry about that. It shouldn't have happened. On 1st of January 2019, I tried to enter the ICU desperately to see if I can revive 'Deepbaazigar' somehow? I am completely aware that he is in Coma now and it is very difficult to wake him up. I tried to write some 'quotes' to see if his brain responds to it but unfortunately, there was no response. The right side of the brain has more control on the left side of the brain. Everywhere it is searching for logic. Creativity is lost completely and so is the imagination power. It is such a helpless situation. I want to see both of them alive but they aren't ready to live peacefully together. What should I do?
Those who are visiting my blog for the first time won't understand anything I am saying here. 'Deepbaazigar' is my pen name since 1996. and 'Stocksbaazigar' is my Professional brand name which I use for my interactions with my viewers and readers who follow me for Investment and trading-related contents. Till 2013, I was active in creative writings. I wrote scripts, directed short-films, blogged on this 'World of Deepbaazigar and other blogs regularly, wrote poems, fiction stories, Quotes by Deepbaazigar series and so on. But since 2013, I stopped everything to focus on my work. I tried to keep Deepbaazigar alive on Facebook for some time but then received feedback that I post too many posts on Facebook. They warned me that it was damaging my public image. Public Image is everything for an Entrepreneur working in Public domain. I listened to them and hardly expressed my views after that.
Fortunately, on 31st Dec. 2018 my work in the public domain ended completely. I was feeling so happy that day. It was like coming out from the role which I was playing for the public. I felt like Jim Carrey who removed his face which he created for the public for his entire career and removed it after he retired from acting. Man, but that happiness was short-lived for me. In the process of becoming something which I am not, I completely forgot who I am? How can someone Kill his alter-ego and finish his own identity? What have I done? I promised to myself now that I will never work with Salaried people again in my entire life. All the co-founders who will work with me to start different subsidiaries of Doddamani Group will be full-time co-founders. I have decided to find myself again. The real me - who never cared what Society thinks about me. The real Deepak Doddamani who respects 'Deepbaazigar' as he is and never feels shy about his vocal and openness. There is an innocence in that persona a shrewd businessman can never get. I can just hope that 'World of Deepbaazigar' blog will help me again to bring 'Deepbaazigar' out of Coma again.